Unlearning What You Learn

"Who are these people? Where do they come from? Why do raise so many questions, and leave you begging for answers?"
They are just people like you, looking for someone to talk to.
"I hate goodbyes!"
You need to get a break. Listen to some Podrunner. That always gets you going. Dear fella, it's time you started living for yourself. Be selfish. Help yourself. Hallelujah.

"I hate change."
Deal with it, mister! You have to learn to deal with it.

"It's like unlearning what you've learnt."
And learning something new all over again. Learning to program in C++ is different from learning to program in BASIC. We all know that.

"As simple as that."
"But how do we learn people?"
Um. Okay, they aren't part of the Learnable subset of All things.
"So, you can't learn people?"
Nope. You can't.
"Not a chance?"
Nope. Not even a slim one. And I don't mean her waist size. I mean, a slim chance.

Forward ho!
"Ah, we go forth. Not knowing, not seeing, not trusting. But we must learn."
And be prepared to unlearn too. Newton's third law applies here.

Learning to Change = Unlearning

PCod Paper Pijakajuka!

"Who said being a placement co-ordinator (pcod) wasn't fun? All I ended up with was a backache.
The dancing part was fun though. And I thought of a new word to describe anything I had to do with too much paper: Pijakajuka!"

You have way too much free time man!

"No I don't! I've not had this much to do with paper ever since my projects back in school when I had an even bigger handwriting and a lot more to write! Thank god my bed was big enough for all that paper."


On Women

"I got one of those fwds on respecting women recently."
Really, and what did it say, besides instructing you on how to do that? Was it one of those emails with a bunch of pictures and a caption which usually started off with the words "She is"?
"Yes, that's just it. With the adjectives sharing, caring, loving, musical, charming and so on suffixing."
Just as I thought, one of those Fwds that just goes around drifting with hardly anybody giving a seconds thought to what's inside it.
"There's nothing to learn from it. It's been forwarded about a zillion times already. It's probably got more interesting tales to tell of the email inboxes it's been in, judging from all the addresses that have overflowed from its To: header into the subject body. Remember the very first case of email spamming?"
That should be interesting, a single email that has gone so far, and seen so much will have many stories to tell. Let's ask an email what it's got to say about itself.
"Maybe later. What do you think about the respecting women thing?"
Well, what do you want me to think? I think that you'd be doing the right thing by them. After all, they are the reason you even exist.
"So, you mean I owe it to them?"
Pretty much.
"So, if you were to respond to that person from whose inbox the fwd originated, what would you have to tell them?"

I respect you, all of you.
Don't forget that.
But maybe we all need reminders, sometimes on why we need the women in our life so much. We miss them when they're not there for us, no matter how hard we try to deny it. Maybe there is no other way.
It's funny though, you have a bunch of guys sitting right behind you discussing the bitchiness of the females around them. I have had plenty of moments where I've thought, to hell with all women! You find it so easy to be pissed off by them, then I remember that they're there to keep us grounded, honest, extremely doped up and they are the reason that half the shrinks out there are not unemployed!

"You can't keep me from talking.
You can't keep me from praising you when you're around.
And i won't make you a goddess.
Won't make me a martyr.
It's never worked before." - Cindy by Tammany Hall

Lovely, that should just about get them the message.
Remember, I respect you. I don't know how we men can convince you, but take it from us.
We do. We need you there.

"But oh! I do want a girl with a short skirt/loonnnggg jacket."
Pah! we men are all the same!

Chapstick on the 14th of Feb-rue-ary

"My lips are all chapped and broken from the heat. And all I do most of the time is cough my heart out."
Ah, it's just that time of year, isn't it?

(dry skin rubbing against some more dry skin)
"Ah, it's sore. Thought I should mention this, but I think I found one of those chapstick cylindrical thingies today on the floor of the classroom. Don't know whether it was something I'd put in my bag long long ago and forgotten completely about. Or, something somebody dropped there. Still, quite a funny coincidence."
You didn't use that, did you?
"No, no. I placed it between in the gap between the window and the sill on the window closest to the blackboard."
Ah, good thinking. Who knows, maybe it was the Valentines Day you've been waiting for all your life.

"Nah! It was old and the print on the thing was fading away. It couldn't have been!"
Somebody has a secret admirer! Ha!
"Falshe hopesh should notsh be raished."
Secret admirer! Beautiful Stranger, who could that be?
"I think you're desperate, and a little lonely. Find somebody."
Nah! that's what's happening. Somebody's already found you.
"That would be nice. The lights are out, and I'm here sitting in the dark. And this is the 14th of February. Ah, gotta find me a date."
She's found you.
"This is not at all like you."
You neither. You've been found. And not in just any ordinary way either! (wink)
I'm still here. Nothing's changed."
Maybe you just don't see it. Maybe that was the sign of a beginning; a new phase in your life.
"Remember the time you first popped up, out of nothing?"
I do, you conjured me, and I'm now a part of you. We are together in summation, so much more than we'd have been just by ourselves.
"I remember that night still. Acchan was scolding Nitya for something. I got really upset and went down and hid behind that door in the middle landing and sat there slumped against the wall, crying. And you came in and told me that it was alright, and these things had to happen and it was for the best."
Did I say all that?
"I think you did. Thank you Br. for everything. Will you be my Valentine?"
(gulping, choking, and subsequent retching, followed by amazement)
"It'll be something of a change. Won't it?"
Ah, alright. Let's hit the local watering hole.
"The toilet?"
That'll do. Yes, you really want to pee now. Go.

"Will I ever see lips up close?"
Nah, not for a while. You know that. You've got sthufffh to do.
"More work? Oh well, I enjoy missing two classes a day."
Lips shut.

"Thank you A.-accompanied-by-e, your comment conjured this rantho, and I probably lost another half-hour of my life I'll never get back again. But I thank you all the same. Good karma your way, and accompanying it, a great date on Valentines Day."

Was that her chapstick?
"I'll ask her."

The tube was blue, my favourite colour."
But I thought you said there were no colours.
I say a lot of things."

"Have a great valentines!"
The same from me.

Deedoy Made Me This

Sometimes, when you feel lost in the crowdaciousness of it all, you can only hope that somebody's hand finds yours.
Strength, courage to brave it all. A reminder to us all that, no matter how strong we are, each and every one of us is vulnerable sometime, somewhere.
"She remembered my favourite colour! It is blue."

A return to the present moment. I snap of the fingers.
I remember who I am.

"Thank you Diya. It's probably the best birthday gift I ever received. You believe in them, don't you, our little children."
I do. They remind us of what we once were, till the world scarred us. When we learnt what it meant to be afraid, unhappy, and thoughtless for no reason whatsoever.
Children, they are the best gift. Any day better than Chicken Soup.

Happy Birthday, I wish you all.
"I want to have seven kids."
Back to the real world, mister M.

Laughter Awakens

(Bright flashes of light! Loud coughing, followed by retching, some wheezing, groan, thud sounding like blody slumping to floor, followed by a heavy object of sorts that sounds like a book such as 'Software Engineering' by Ian Sommerville.

Silence and then a voice sounds forth from the darkness.)

So, you're 20 now, eh?
"Ah, hello there Br.! You caught me in the middle of something. It can wait, it's been a while."
Yes it has, and see how different things have become today. You don't realise it, but you've just reached another milestone in your life. You're 20 years old; a time in your life when all that you've learnt over the years will help you make a very important decision. Which path must I choose? That is a question that you will have to answer.

"Speaking of paths, I found a new route to the Maratahalli bridge the other day."
And how did you come across this?
"Well, a friend of mine needed a drop home, so I dropped her off and under the circs. I was compelled to take that path."
A new friend of yours? Who is she?

"She's someone whom I've known for a while. We had difficulties understanding one another I guess. These misunderstandings sort of snowballed into something big and kept us at a distance."
Ah, story of your life, isn't it?
"Yes, but since we got an opporunity to work together in a team, I've begun to feel better about where we're going. She, me and another friend got together and really hit it off a couple of days back!it
"We were doing serious work but laughing our asses off at the same time! I never expected that, and it was quite a revelation I had that day. I learnt that it takes time to get comfortable with a person. Make the other person feel good about spending time with you. If you get together and let humour and laughter take over, and you realise that 6 hours feels more like 6 minutes, then you know you've had fun!"

So, the barriers broke, eh?
"Yes, and so did the water gates! I ended up with enough tears to make the Sardar Sarovar Project generate at full capacity; something, by the way, it's not done ever since it was built!"
That's great! So, you've found new friends this semsester. How do you feel about the future?

"I'd found them already. I just needed to brighten things up, that's all."
Tamasoma Jyothir Gamaya.
"And what a journey it was! I just realised that I've pushed almost everyone I knew away, when I felt that I was getting too close to them."
You mean, what happened with -
"Yes, you know. And I feel that I did it unconsciously, unwillingly, reflexively. Not knowing. And much regrettably so, it's been a late realisation. But it's something of a start."
Something is better than nothing.

"For the moment your eyes open, and you know.
All the things I'd ever want you to know.
I don't know you, I don't want to,
Till the moment your eyes open, and you know." - 'Your Eyes Open', Keane
Stop listening to Keane!
"Can't help it."

"I pushed another friend away too, recently. Said stupid things, I regret having said them now."
(cough cough) Chat IS as good as live conversation!
"I want her to know how sorry I feel. All that stuff we spoke about earlier makes no sense now. I have to accept things the way they are. Do what you think is right. Make it your aim in life, har pal, har gadi, har vakt."
[Aside: That's redundancy for ya!]

Tell her how you feel. Things are different now.
"If you read this, I want to let you know, I didn't mean what I said, I'm sorry. I've made mistakes before, but I'm tired and any more mistakes will not help me change. I've realised that somewhere, deep down you've got to accept change, as it comes, and regardless of how futile all this change might be, you're still human, and still in need of kindness. I'm glad we met, and who knows, my life may not have turned out the way it did, hadn't it been for you. I don't know what to say, I just wanted to say that I still owe you a coffee, and if you find the time, do let me know."

Perhaps when this craziness ends, you'll both have the time.
"I hope so, br. I hope so. I think that smile gives me hope."